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Feb 17

Written by: Diana West
Wednesday, February 17, 2016 12:53 PM 


Unveiling a work in progress, The Big Conservative Dictionary of Donald Trump. 

The fun part about The Big Conservative Dictionary of Donald Trump is that it is brought to you by the political Right, from GOP strategists to erudite conservatives, who, some even between birthing the stink bombs below, endlessly deplore crudeness and "tone" in simply scads of elevating sermons and television lecture-bytes. (See "Rudeness Is not a Conservative Value,"  "Against Trump," etc.). 

Here we go -- so far.

A is for "Anal"

-- Rick Wilson, GOP consultant with "informal ties" to Marco Rubio and Jeb Bush, and frequent guest on cable news nets (see "V is for Vichy Republicans").

A is for Ape

1. "Witless Ape Rides Escalator"

-- This is the headline for National Review's very first report by Kevin Williamson on Donald Trump's 2016 presidential run. (See also "P is for Plastic-Surgery-Nightmare Wife," etc.)

2. "Turning to Donald Trump to solve the problems in Washington is like turning to an ape to fix a broken refrigerator."

-- Stephen Hayes, Fox News & Weekly Standard (see also "D is for Diarrhea")

A is for Appalling

"If by now you don’t find Donald Trump appalling, you’re appalling."

-- Bret Stephens, Wall Street Journal

A is for Ass/Asshole

“You are so far up Trump’s ass."

Pollster Frank Luntz to Patrick Howley of Breitbart News, whom Luntz also called an "asshole.

B is for Balls

"Let's be honest. Carly cut his balls off."

-- National Review editor Rich Lowry, on Fox News (see minute 1:18 below), September 23, 2015


"Trump has some balls to compare himself 2 Reagan."

-- Daniel Horowitz, Conservative Review, tweeting out his post-Neveda caucuses story, "Where the Hell Was Trump When We Needed Him?" (See "B is for Bastard")

B is for Bastard

"When I was spending time away from family fighting the Gang of 8, this bastard was bragging about hiring illegals."

-- Daniel Horowitz, Conservative Review, tweeting out his post-Nevada caucuses story, Where the Hell Was Trump When We Needed Him?" (See "B is for Balls")

B is for Blood Libel

"By the normal rules, Trump embracing a blood libel about George W. Bush (he knew there were no WMD in Iraq) ... would hurt him."

-- Rich Lowry, editor National Review (see "B is for Balls")

B is for Brown Shirts

"Just left the caucus site. ... I believe that Trump, whether he knows it or not, is grooming Brown Shirts."

-- Glenn Beck (see also "H is for Hitler," etc.)

B is for Bullet

The donor class "are still going to have to go out and put a bullet in Donald Trump. And that’s a fact.”

-- Republican consultant Rick Wilson on MSNBC

B is for Butt

"A lot of their [Fox News'] hosts are kissing  Donald Trump's butt."

-- TV host Glenn Beck on CNN's AC360 (see also "H is for Hitler," etc.).

C is for Cancer

"Let no one be mistaken -- Donald Trump's candidacy is a cancer on conservatism, and it must be clearly diagnosed, excised and discarded."

-- Former Gov. Rick Perry, July 22, 2015

C is for Chlamydia

"I heard once that people suffering from seriously advanced chlamydia (a kind of infection—and any kind of infection can lead to death) tend, in the end stage, to lose their bearings, to lurch and ramble, and to say things that are inconsistent and incoherent. I’m not saying Donald Trump has chlamydia. I’m just raising issues."

-- Daniel Oliver, Chairman of the Board of Education and Research Institute, Senior Director of White House Writers Group, formerly Chairman of FTC under President Reagan, formerly Chairman of the Board of National Review, writing at The Federalist. (See "V is for Venereal Disease.") 

C is for Clown

"Trump is a clown."

-- Bruce Bartlett, GOP communications strategist, Bush White House official, Romney 2008, Romney 2012. (See also "S is for Shtick [sic].")

"He might have had any sort of life he chose, and he chose a clown's life."

-- Kevin Williamson, roving editor, National Review (see "M is for Masturbate," etc.) 

C is for Clown Site

"The clown site of the Internet beclowns itself yet again."

-- Commentary editor John Podhoretz tweeting @ Breitbart News report on Trump rapping critic George Will for failing to disclose his Will's wife worked for then-presidential candidate Scott Walker. (See also "V is for Vomit.")

C is for Collaborators

"Trump’s collaborators … will find that nothing will redeem the reputations they will ruin by placing their opportunism in the service of his demagogic cynicism and anti-constitutional authoritarianism."

-- George Will, syndicated columnist, "Nothing Will Redeem the Reputations of Trump's Republican Collaborators" (see "D is for Drunk," etc.)

C is for Complete Idiot

"Donald Trump is a complete idiot."

-- Sen. Lindsay Graham, GOP presidential candidate, Newsmax TV

"... and then we've got sort of the third tier, which are people who really are unlikely to break through; they're good people some of them ... or in the case of Donald Trump, they're complete idiots." 

-- Karl Rove, speech, Missouri Boys State, June 15, 2015 (see also "C is for Complete Moron").

C is for Complete Moron

"And the third tier is going to be mostly entertaining, except for that guy Trump, who is a complete moron."

-- Karl Rove, speech, Missouri Boys State, June 15, 2015 (see also "C is for Complete Idiot").

C is for Contempt

C is for Crap

"Either cut the crap [about Ted Cruz] or you will lose lots and lots of conservatives."

-- Radio host and author Mark Levin

C is for Crock of Bullcrap

“Too many people are looking at Trump and believing that man has ever opened a Bible … that’s the biggest crock of bullcrap I’ve ever heard.” -

-- TV host Glenn Beck, speaking at a rally for Sen. Ted Cruz  (see also "B is for Butt," etc.).

C is for Cultist

D is for Debasing

"Jesse, you have ... been singing the praises of the most identity-politics candidate for months. You’ve been debasing yourself at the feet of his golden throne over, and over, and over again on Fox.”

-- Ben Domenech, publisher of The Federalist, fellow at The Manhattan Institute, to Jesse Waters of Fox News on the Fox Business show "Kennedy" 

D is for Despicable

"Hillary is despicable, but Trump is worse."

-- Subhead from "I'll Take Hillary Clinton Over Donald Trump" by Tom Nichols, The Federalist.

D is for Despise

"The oddest thing about his popularity with white middle-class and working-class males is that if he lived next door to them, they would despise him."

-- Charles Murray, quoted in the New Yorker, "The Dilemma of Conservatives Who Say They Will Never Vote for Trump," February 26, 2016

D is for Diarrhea

"Fact-checking Donald Trump is like picking up after a dog with diarrhea."

-- Stephen Hayes, Weekly Standard, on Fox News (See "A is for Ape")

D is for Dick

"sorry you got punched in the dick @realDonaldTrump feel better soon."

-- Neal Dewing, senior contributor, The Federalist ( see also "M is for Maxi Pad," etc.).

D is for Dictatorship

"An American dictatorship is now a possibility."

-- Mario Loyola, NR contributing editor, senior fellow at the Wisconsin Institute for Law and Liberty (and he ain't talking about Barack "telephone/pen" Obama).

D is for Disagreeable

"Is there a disagreeable trait that he does not have"?

-- George Will, syndicated columnist 

D is for Drunk

"Think of a drunk with a bullhorn reading aloud James Joyce's Finnegans Wake." 

 -- George Will, syndicated columnist (see "C is for Collaborators," etc.).

D is for Dump

“ `Ooo he’s a contrarian, he doesn’t bow to the conventional wisdom!' is a sentence you can … apply with equal accuracy to Charles Manson, Lenin, and some guy taking a dump on the counter at McDonald’s."

-- Jonah Goldberg, National Review, "Stop Defending Trump's Poisonous `Middle-Finger Politics'" (see "F is for Filth," "P is for Piss," etc.)

D is for Dungeon

Donald Trump is "a pathological narcissistic sociopath" who is "trying to put Megyn Kelly ... in his dungeon."

-- TV host Glenn Beck on his Facebook page (see also "C is for Crock of Bullcrap," etc.)

E is for Embarassment

"It is possible that Trump will not win any primary, and that by the middle of March our long national embarassment will be over."

-- George Will, syndicated columnist (see "C is for Collaborators," "D is for Disagreeable," etc.).

F is for Fascist

1. "Trump is a fascist. And that's not a term I use loosely or often. But he's earned it."

-- Max Boot, fellow, Council on Foreign Relations, Rubio adviser, all around special guy.

2. "I think the problems you're all raising are extremely minor compared to nominating a racist/fascist and having to support him."

3. -- David Freddoso, commentary editor, The Washington Examiner (another blog favorite) (see "R is for Racist").   


5. "He’s a Dorito-tinted proto-fascist who admires Vladimir Putin and Saddam Hussein."

-- Ian Tuttle, William F. Buckley Fellow in Political Journalism at the National Review Institute, National Review (see "P is for Prostitute," "R is for Rats," etc.).

F is for Filth

"Trump’s schtick as a sprinkler system of insults is getting everyone dirty. He throws mud on anything and anyone in his way. But that muck washes off quite easily. What stains down to the soul is the eagerness to apologize for, or even celebrate, the filth."

-- Jonah Goldberg, National Review (See M is for Mouth-breathing anti-Semites," etc.)

F is for Frankenstein 

"He is, rather, the party’s creation, its Frankenstein monster, brought to life by the party, fed by the party and now made strong enough to destroy its maker."

-- Robert Kagan, The Washington Post

G is for Good News

G is for Grabs

"Man. This piece. @KevinNR grabs Trump supporters by the ... well, you know."

-- Commentary assistant online editor Noah Rothman responding to: see "M is for Masturbation."

G is for Guns

"I don't like guns. I've never wanted to own a gun. Trump people make me fear for my family's safety. I'm reconsidering."

-- Commentary assistant online editor Noah Rothman tweeting on Super Tuesday.

H is for Hardcore Porn

"Trump’s Immigration Plan Is Hardcore Porn For Nativists," August 19, 2015

-- headline over article by David Harsanyi at The Federalist. It opens: 

Donald Trump is porn for nativists. Now, a person can derive much political self-gratification from wishful thinking, but remember porn isn’t real. So enjoy daydreaming about mass deportations and visualizing the repeal of birthright citizenship, but don’t let yourself get desensitized to reality....

H is for Hitler

With Donald Trump, "you have the makings of Adolph Hitler."

-- TV host  Glenn Beck on his radio show, reported January 22, 2016

I is for Incontinence

1. "The establishment was trying to humiliate and embarrass Ted Cruz and Trump. And I think it really ticked Trump off and may have been — I’m wild guessing here — may have been one of the reasons why he was a victim of emotional incontinence."

-- Rush Limbaugh

2. "First @realDonaldTrump won't release his taxes. Now he won't level with America about his panic incontinence problem."

-- Rick Wilson, GOP consultant, CNN commentator, via Twitter (see "A is for Anal," etc.)

K is for King Kong

K is for Klan

"Serious q: How can anyone be a "proud Latina" and support #Trump, the candidate of "white supremacists" and the Klan?"

-- Roger Noriega, AEI scholar, former assistant secstate, former US ambassador 

L is for Ledge

After the New Hampshire Primary...

M is for Machine-Gun

"Tomorrow night, as they stand on either side of Trump, Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz must find their resolve and all-but-machine-gun the man to the floor."

-- Charles C.W. Cooke, National Review, "It's Time for an Anti-Trump Manhattan Project"

M is for Masturbate/Masturbation

1. "Most of them [Trump supporters] are childless single men who masturbate to anime."

-- GOP consultant Rick Wilson (see also "A is for Anal," etc.) on MSNBC, reported January 20, 2016

2. Trump supporters are "engaged in the political version of masturbation: sterile, fruitless self-indulgence."

-- Kevin Williamson, National Review correspondent, director of the William F. Buckley fellowship program in political journalism (see also "A is for Ape," etc.). 

M is for Maxi Pad

"I hope you remember to bring a maxi pad to the next debate @realDonaldTrump It will help with pee dribbles without ruining the line of slacks."

-- Neal Dewing, senior contributor, The Federalist (see also "U is for Underwear," etc.).

Media Whores

"They were the media whores of their time."

-- Daniel Drezner, professor Fletcher School of Law and Diplomacy, describing Gens. Patton and MacArthur in Reuters article, "Trump obsession with WWII generals strikes sour note with historians"

M is for Mock

"Mock him. Mock his orange skin, his business failures, his need to buy friends because no one likes spending time with him. ... Take the flamethrower to him. Interupt him constantly. Belittle him. Insult him. Play on his very obvious insecurities. Give him a nickname -- just start calling him `Marla,' without any explanation, and pretend you don't even realize it. ... Make note of his stubby fingers and small hands -- we all know what that means." 

-- Ben Domenech, publisher, The Federalist, "At Tonight's Debate, Take a Flamethrower to Trump" (see "S is for Stubby")

M is for Moron

I don’t think that Trump can win, frankly, because I don’t think there are enough morons to elect him. A certain percentage of the American public is just morons; that’s the way it is. When you divide the public in two then divide the voters in one of those halves among five candidates or more, a candidate can win by dominating the moron vote because it only takes about one-seventh of the total population to take the “lead” under those circumstances.

But when you’re talking about needing 51 percent of the whole population [sic], rather than needing 30 percent of half of the population, you run out of morons. I hope we will. I hope Trump will lose, because I hope he runs out of morons to vote for him.

-- Bill James, The Federalist, "Trump Is a Rump, but He Has a Point"

M is for Mouth-Breathing Anti-Semites

M is for Mussolini

"Mussolini ... is clearly Trump's secret template."

-- Andrew Roberts, historian, The Daily (London) Telegraph

O is for Obnoxious

"He is promoting obnoxious solutions to fake or wildly exaggerated challenges."

-- Michael Gerson, Washington Post syndicated columnist, former director of speechwriting for George W. Bush

P is for Piss

Trump is like a cat trained to piss in a human toilet. It’s amazing! It’s remarkable! Yes, yes, it is: for a cat. But we don’t judge humans by the same standard.

-- Jonah Goldberg, National Review (see also "Mouth-Breathing Anti-Semites")

P is for Plastic-Surgery-Disaster Wife

Trump is "a reality-television grotesque with his plastic-surgery-disaster wife."

-- National Review's Kevin Williamson (See also "A is for Ape," etc.). Bonus: Williamson deplores Trump for "ungallant behavior" here

P is for Prick

-- "As much as Trump comes across as a blowhard prick to many of us who work in the political arena and are high-information voters, to the people who actually meet him out on the trail ... he comes off as a really, really nice guy."

-- Liz Mair, GOP consultant and "communications expert," formerly with the Scott Walker campaign   

P is for Prostitute

"Speaking of prostitutes: On Sunday, Alabama senator Jeff Sessions offered Trump his own endorsement."

-- Ian Tuttle, National Review, William F. Buckley Fellow in Political Journalism at the National Review Institute (see "F is for Fascist," etc.).

R is for Racist

"I think the problems you're all raising are extremely minor compared to nominating a racist/fascist and having to support him."

-- David Freddoso, commentary editor, The Washington Examiner (see "F is for Fascist").   

R is for Rape/Rapist

"Donald Trump rapes the truth and leaves it in a dumpter. Repeatedly."

-- Erick Erickson, radio host, The Resurgent, "Donald Trump: Serial Rapist of Truth" (see "S is for Swastika").

R is for Rats

"The Rats Are Scurrying: Republican Officeholders Who Endorse Trump Are Sellouts"

-- National Review headline over piece by Ian Tuttle  (see "F is for Fascist," etc.)

R is for Robe of Conservatism

Trump "is soiling the robe of conservatism and dragging it through the dust."

-- Bill Kristol, editor, Weekly Standard, on why he "loathes" Donald Trump (see also "K is for King Kong"). 

S is for Scarlet Letter

-- Matt Mackowiak, Republican consultant based in Texas.  

S is for Sellouts

"The Rats Are Scurrying: Republican Officeholders Who Endorse Trump Are Sellouts"

-- National Review headline over piece by Ian Tuttle  (see "P is for Prostitute," etc.)

S is for Sex Tape

"The gross thing is, you can kind of imagine a Trump sex tape."

-- Kevin Williamson, National Review correspondent, director of the William F. Buckley fellowship program in political journalism, New Criterion theatre critic (see also "M is for Masturbation," etc.).

S is for Sharia

"Is Donald Trump the sharia of American politics?" 

-- opening line of "Thin-Skinned Tyrant" by Andrew McCarthy, National Review, Fox guest

S is for Sheikh

"I wouldn't put him in the Oval Office, but he has the makings of a fine Saudi Sheikh."

-- closing line of "Think-Skinned Tyrant" by Andy McCarthy, National Review, Fox guest, bringing to mind former Fox part-owner and Murdoch business partner, Saudi Alwaleed bin Talal -- perhaps not the final image McCarthy had in mind.  

In between opening and closing lines, the former prosecutor argues that Trump's decision to skip the umpteenth debate is due to single debate question five months ago.

Whoops, he omits Fox official snark and nightly drubbing:


S is for Shtick [sic]

"His town fool shtick [sic] has won him admiration from a frighteningly sizeable percentage of the Republican electorate."

-- Bruce Bartlett, GOP communications strategist  and veteran of Romney 2008 and Romney 2012.

S is for Softcore

"Trump’s fans—not all, but enough—aren’t turned on by softcore white papers authored by Jeff Sessions, they want the hard stuff."

-- David Harsanyi, The Federalist (see also "H is Hardcore Porn")

S is for Stench

Trump's policies are "a parade of semi-sophisticated policies that act as bathroom deodorizer to mask the stench of this candidacy."

-- Bret Stephens, Wall Street Journal (see also "A is for Appalling," etc.)

S is for Stubby

"Make note of his stubby fingers and small hands -- we all know what that means." 

-- Ben Domenech, publisher, The Federalist, "At Tonight's Debate, Take a Flamethrower to Trump"  

S is for Supply Lines

"Finally, this thing [Trump's candidacy] cannot be cut off at the head. An insurgency needs its supply lines cut."

-- Noah Rothman, Commentary assistant online editor (see also "G is for Grabs"), referring, it would seem, to free press/free citizens not sufficiently hostile enough to  

S is for Swastika

"The white supremacists who back Trump had to be crying a bit into their swastikas. Trump said nice things about Israel."

-- Radio host Erick Erickson, The Resurgent, "Donald Trump: Serial Rapist of Truth" (see "R is for Rape/Rapist") 

T is for Terrorized

In considering Trump, South Carolina hasn’t seen as nasty a character since the British commander Banastre Tarleton terrorized civilians during the American Revolutionary War.

-- Quinn Hillyer, The American Spectator

T is for Turd

"The stubby-fingered orange turd."

-- Sean Davis, co-founder The Federalist, former adviser to Gov. Rick Perry, former chief investigator for Sen. Tom Coburn

U is for Underbelly

"He knows things we don't know about the emotions roiling the American underbelly"

--  John Podhoretz, Commentary editor (see also "C is for Clown Site," etc.)

U is for Underwear

"Show us your underwear from last night @realDonaldTrump so that we might examine it for urine stains."

-- Neal Dewing, senior contributor, The Federalist, via Twitter, February 26, 2016

U is for Ungallant

See "P is for Plastic-Surgery-Disaster Wife."

V is for Venereal Disease

"Why Donald Trump Is Like a Venereal Disease"

-- Original headline of essay at the Federalist by Daniel Oliver. The headline now reads: "Donald Trump and Venereal Disease." (See "C is for Chlamydia.") 

V is for Vichy Republicans


2. "better than Vichy Scarborough."

-- Jennifer Rubin, Washington Post conservative blogger  

V is for Violence

"I'm not saying violence is the answer. I'm saying violence is an answer."

-- David Harsanyi, The Federalist, in "Bring Back Dueling!" (See also "H is for Hardcore Porn") 

V is for Virus

"The Republican Party is infected by a virus and that virus can be expunged only by direct action."

-- Mark Antonio Wright, assistant editor, National Review, in "Cruz and Rubio Must Take Down Trump at Tonight's Debate" 

V is for Vomit

1. "The more he vomits venom, the more free press he gets."

Mona Charen, National Review, "Rubio and Cruz Must Train Their Fire on Trump"

2. "By the way, I knew Andrew Breitbart. Andrew Breitbart was a friend of mine. He would vomit over what you've done to his name."

-- Commentary editor John Podhoretz, tweeting @ Breibart report on Trump rapping Trump critic Will not disclosing wife's ties to Walker campaign (see also "C is for Clown Site").

W is for Wet

“First, he had this little makeup thing applying makeup around his mustache because he had one of those sweat mustaches. Then, he asked for a full-length mirror . . . maybe to make sure his pants weren’t wet.

-- Marco Rubio, speaking at a post-Debate #10 event.    

W is for Whore

Super Tuesday tweet by Ben Howe, Redstate contributing editor & CEO of media consulting firm, Howe Creative,  whose clients include:


That's all for now -- see you next time!

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